How Do I Do It? Secrets for Success

First - anyone following this blog will need to understand that I can't replicate what I do "live" with my audience of children. I can only tell you what I think as I organize and plan what and how I'll share the "talk". Afterall, the Childrens' Talk is about TWO-WAY communication with a child. There's an element of unpredictability and a risk of failure (not getting the thought across to the child.)

In order to make this blog work, I have to tell you a little about how the "live" version works, then tell you what I cannot replicate in the blog and then provide the tools, insight and planning that I do and perhaps what I've learned or the childrens' reactions. YOU have to have imagination to get a sense of the "magic" and "fun" of talking to children. The BEST thing is the experience. Adults in my church often tell me how much they enjoy the Childrens' Talk. So if you read this blog, please know that this is likely to be a dry and much less fun version of what I do "live" with children.

At Holy Communion, the Childrens' Talk occurs just after The Peace, so all the readings and the Gospel have come before the Childrens' Talk. Because I'm also the organist and select the hymns, I have already noted the upcoming readings and themes for each of the next few Sundays. I think about what a 5 to 8 year old might relate to as I read the readings, the Psalm and the Gospel. You might wonder why I don't just read the Gospel. I refer you to Mark 6:14-29 and you tell me what part of that Gospel reading would you want to explain to a 5-year old? So for Proper 10 - I would likely have chosen the image of King David leaping with joy - and the theme of expressing joy when praising the Lord. There have been one or two Sundays where none of the readings, the Psalm or the Gospel lent themselves to very young children, and so what I have done is focus on part of the worship.

I only take a very tiny piece - like the story or theme - such as the Miracle of the Loaves and Fish or a phrase - "give us this day our daily bread" or what the altar is, or what the Advent wreath and candles represent. I try to keep the talk within 5 minutes or less and I make sure I have a closing point I can say in a short sentence using simple words. My objective is to teach something that will be positive and memorable. I'm only creating a foundation for understanding not trying to conduct a seminary.

The other very important part of my childrens' talk is to have an object for the children to focus on at the beginning of the talk. I almost always have something they can see and hold or watch. Without getting too deep into brain research or educational learning theory - what I can tell you about the age group I work with (3 - 9) is that they are concrete thinkers. They learn best by having something tangible. This is how babies develop and children and even adults still learn best this way. In layman's terms, we call this learning by doing.

The last piece of the plan is to ask good questions and not be afraid to have those awkward pauses of silence when children don't respond right away. This is "think time" and really - that's what you're after. If you can create a moment when the child is reflecting on your question and trying to come up with a response, you are really doing your job. In a way, the response is really kinda irrelevant because, we want children to be curious and think more. If they don't have the answer and it's really uncomfortably long wait, you can change your question to a "would you say the answer is ....?" and the child can feel safer to answer with a yes. Then proceed with your talk. Of course, there's a difference between thinking and confusion. You have to look at their faces to tell the difference. (Sorry, I can't teach you how to do that in this blog.)

So in a nutshell, the Childrens' Talk goes like this...

1. Read the readings and select a tiny - tiny piece to talk about.
2. Keep your talk to under 5 minutes. (The first few times, you're only going to know this by practicing and timing yourself in advance. After you've done a couple dozen, you'll start to get the inner timing down.)
   
3. Think of some object that you can bring to start off your talk. Some are really obvious - like bring a flashlight to start your talk about Jesus being "The Light of the World"
4. Think of your message. What simple thought do you want each child to remember? Put this in a closing statement and commit this to your memory. The closing has to be strong to be memorable.
5. Now think of questions you can ask to get you from the object to the closing message. Remember to use what children see and hear during church or things they may have learned by watching the adults. Draw on things the child is likely to know. It also means you need to know a bit about the children. For example if you talk about how to forgive others and you use siblings in your example, remember that not all children have a sibling and may not be able to understand what you mean. Be sure to get to know the parents of the children you talk to (if you aren't the parent already) so you will have an idea what the child's earthly experiences have been so far, and then you'll be able to come up with questions that the child will be able to respond to.
6. I also give things to the children when I'm done. Stickers are popular, but I've also been prepared to have some of my "props" for the talk in quantities so I can give them to the children. (Once I used a small rock for my talk - and made sure I had enough rocks so each child could choose one (have extra so there's a choice for the last child as well.) In this case I remind them of what the rock will make them think about.

Well that's it. Not magic, just plain old thinking on my part and a little bit of know how with children. I don't read to children, I ask them questions and we talk. Two-way talking. It works. And I love the fact that during church, the children run to the rail - beating me to the step where we sit. It must be working. Last Sunday the two older children in one family were away, but the one year old sibling kept toddling away from Mom (several times during the service) to come sit on the step. I think this is a good sign when even the babies who can't yet talk, know they have a place in church.

- Susan